Types of Girls

CD-ROM GIRLS
She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL GIRLS
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .

HARD DISK GIRLS
she remembers everything, FOREVER

INTERNET GIRLS
Difficult to access

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS
She make horrible thing look beautiful

SCREENSAVER GIRLS
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

RAM GIRLS
she forget about you, the moment turn her off

WINDOW GIRLS
everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

VIRUS GIRLS
Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will lose everything...

SERVER GIRLS
Always busy when you need her.

Rohypnol

Important for girls....don't hesitate to FORWARD..
Forward this to all your frnds and save them from a possiblesituation.
A woman at a Gas nightclub (Mumbai) on Saturday nightwas taken by 5 men, who according to hospital andpolice reports, gang raped her before dumping her at Bandstand Mumbai. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed therepeat rapes along with traces of rohypnol in herblood.
Rohypnol, date rape drug is an essentially a small sterilization pill.
The drug is now being used by rapists at parties torape AND sterilize their victims. All they have to dois drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can'tremember a thing the next morning, of all that had Taken place the night before. Rohypnol, whichdissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that thevictim doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapistneedn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.
The Drug's affects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - they arePERMANENT. Any female that takes it WILL NEVER BEABLE TO CONCEIVE. The weasels can get this drug fromanyone who is in the vet school or any university.it's that easy, and Rohypnol is about to break out big on campuseseverywhere.
Believe it or not, there are even sites on theInternet telling people how to use it. Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.
http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/roof.html
http://www.streetdrugs.org/rohypnol.htm
Girls, becareful when you're out and don't leave yourdrink unattended.
(added - Buy your own drinks, ensure bottles or cans
received are Unopened or sealed; don't even tastesomeone else's drink)
There was already been a report in Singapore of girlsdrink been Spiked by Rohypnol.
Please make the effort to forward this to everyone you
know.
For guys - Pls inform all your female friends andrelatives.
"Your life is God's gift to you. What you do forothers is your gift to God" I had been forwarded this mail you SHOULD do the same.

Colour Cleansing

If you thought that only your clothes get ruined after playing Holi, think again! The synthetic colours sold these days are really harmful to your skin and hair- but that should not dampen your vigour for this delightful festival. Here are some useful tips to protect your skin and hair.

• Use only natural colours and herbal dyes made from plant, vegetable and fruit extracts. Say no to chemical colours.
• Wear clothes that cover most of your body. Long sleeved kurtas, full pyjamas, etc. are your best bet. It will also save you from sunburn.
• Since Holi colours cause skin dryness, apply petroleum jelly to your nails, soles, elbows and other dry areas of the body prior to playing with Holi.
• If your skin is extra sensitive, apply a thick layer of cold cream or sunscreen before playing.
• An easy way to remove colour and replenish and rejuvenate the skin is by using a paste of gram flour (besan) with milk.
• A mixture of sea salts, glycerine and few drops of aroma therapy oil have anti-bacterial and anti-fungal effect and can take care of the ill effects of chemical colours.
• Always use warm water and soap to scrub off the colours. Then use a cream cleanser or baby oil, to gently massage off any left over colour.
• Protect your hair with the use of oils or gel to counter the harmful effects of colours. Rinse your hair with a mild shampoo immediately after playing. Follow up with some deep conditioning.
• If you wear glasses or contact lenses, avoid using them while playing Holi. The colour can leave an unsightly outline on your glasses and damage your contacts.
• Invest in a manicure and pedicure in case the colour refuses to leave your nails.
• In case you develop a rash or allergy, take a non-sedative, anti-allergic tablet or visit a doctor as soon as you can.

Cool Videos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0eRPYJqGLg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBNVXyxRlJc&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo9CE4qT7qE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Z818lnTK0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwSqdL7fiE8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoG8jeunpqQ

Health Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear

Do not drink coffee TWICE a day

Do not take pills with COOL water

Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm

Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume

Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night

Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS

Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time

Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning

Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping

When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.

Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage : Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage : Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back !

*WELCOME TO AIR INDIA !!!*

..
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captainJoseph Welcomingboth seated and standing passengers on board of Air India .We apologize forthe four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weatherand someovertime I had to put in at the bakery .
This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is notguaranteed, but we willend up somewhere in India . And, if luck is in your favor, wemay even belanding on your village!
Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, oursafety standards areso high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year,over 30% of ourpassengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request,we can arrangeto turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we servecomplimentary DHARU and Wada paav.
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airlinewho can helpyou find out if there really is a God !
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown aswe forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, wewill be flying right next to Emirates Airline, where theirmovie will bevisible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabinis only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possiblefor the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Ourenthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through thelandmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position fortake-off andfasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindlyfasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you whocan't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with astewardess whowill explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
ENJOY AIRINDIA !!!!!
BUT GUYS AND GALS YOU MUST FLY WITH AIR INDIA BECAUSE IT"S THE "AIR OF INDIA "